Ahh.. .freaking out a bit

I completed my first week of "power lifting" and I feel like I've been worked over with a baseball bat. That's the good news. Sore muscles means growing muscles.

Here's the bad news:
This new plan has me scared shitless. I went from eating 1800 calories a day to eating 3000. The idea is, I haven't lost a pound in over a year, and the fitness guru guy I'm working with says it's because my body has finally adapted to 1800 calories, and that is now my "normal" calorie intake. It's no longer considered a "deficit" by my body. So his plan is to jack my calories up, and have me start power lifting. The idea is to pack on a bunch of muscle (and some fat), and then switch back to the deficit and start cutting fat again.

So far? All I notice is I'm fatter. I'm freaking out. I've gained 6 pounds or so in the last two weeks. I'm supposed to think it was at least half muscle, but it looks a lot like fat in my face and gut.

We'll see. I will try to stick with it for at least the first 8 week cycle.

I feel so much better about this new approach

Alright. Here's a reality check.

Why am I doing this?

Fact:
Before when I was 250 and quite a bit fatter, I had zero health problems. No high blood pressure. No high cholesterol. Nothing.

So to get right down to it. I'm doing this purely for two reasons:
1) Physical Appearance
2) Physical Ability

That's it! So why would I weigh myself? I don't care what I weigh. I only care about looks and abilities. So abilities is an easy one. Can I run further and lift heavier things than I could the month before? Easy to check. Looks are a little tougher. I'm taking monthly photos, and we'll see if there's a difference.

This makes much more sense. Weight be damned. Muscle bound football players who have amazing physical abilities and amazing bodies are all 250+ pounds and "obses" according to BMI.

If I end this journey as a muscled up guy who can run a marathon, then I win.

And for some motivation, here's me at my buddy's wedding a few weeks back. I actually think I look pretty decent!

Doing things differently for a bit

I'm trying to manage burn-out, so I'm going to stop with the daily weighings and stop with the log tracking.

I'm doing a test run of my new plan this week and getting all my lifting weights figured out. I'm doing a lot of lifts I've never done, and so I'm establishing a baseline.

I'll be doing monthly pictures for now instead of weights and charts. I'm worrying FAR too much about what the scale says, and not nearly enough about what really matters. I gain 5 pounds of muscle and lose 3 pounds of fat, the scale says I gained two pounds, and then I feel like a failure. That is a crappy way to do things. So screw the scale for now. Screw the log. I know if I'm eating right and hitting my workouts. For now, I don't need the accountability, and don't want the overhead of messing with the chart.

I'll most that picture in my post down to a permanent spot, and then post up monthly pictures and we'll see if there's a change.

I think I have my muscles ready to go

I hope to start my new plan on Monday. I spent this week getting my body used to being pushed again. I think I'm ready to go. This new plan makes SOOO much more sense to me. I hope I get results out of it.

I've sucked so much ass in the last month it makes me cry

194 bitches. That's right. 194. I was 194 this morning. I'm damn near back to last year's weight. It's freaking AMAZING how quick it goes. In about 6 weeks I put on 10 pounds, can't run for shit, can't lift for shit, and look like this:

That's some bullshit. I mean, that ain't a BAD body, but it is WAY worse than it was 6 weeks ago.

So I start a new plan today. I have this week to re-aclimate myself to strenuous workouts and dietting, and then next week it's ON! I wasn't going to post this horrible picture, but I have to be honest with everyone. You can't get anywhere if you're in denial about where you're starting from. I mean, even at my current state I'm 56 pounds down from where I started. I'll get this. It just takes more dedication.